August 2011 « Hapa Kenya

With the growing tensions in the Middle East, the looming nuclear crisis in Iran and North Korea and the shift of economic power from the West to the East, it may seem that a world war is inevitable. So then it’s safe to prepare for one instead of pretending that all is well. After all, Sun Tzu said that the absence of war isn’t peace. If allegiances haven’t changed, then we have two sides, the allied forces and the axis powers. The British, the French and the Americans make up the Allied Forces. On the other side, the Germans, Italians and the Japanese make up the Axis Powers.
This then makes it interesting if we are going to have a world war, but with airbags, anti lock brakes and turbo chargers. I’m not talking about a world war that is a pissing contest between heads of state and major generals, but a world war for engineers, designers and race car drivers. Where superiority is not how many people your bomb can kill but how fast you can get from 0 to 100kph.

For this type of war then you need machines and to win a war you need the best machines. This game like any other has rules. No slick tyres and all cars should be road legal and NO HYBRID CARS. Those are the only three rules for this game. There are different categories and both teams must field one car and a driver for each category. We have the hot hatch category, four door saloon and super car categories. In my opinion, I would pick the following cars to represent both teams in the categories.

In the hot hatch category, I would choose the Ford Focus RS 500 for the allied forces. This beautiful monster produces 350 bhp from its 2.5 litre four cylinder motor and Ford have fitted it with a clever front differential so as to reduce torque steer. For the axis powers, I would choose the Subaru Impreza Cosworth STi. If you’re a motoring enthusiast then you know the marriage between Cosworth and STi is one made in heaven, It’s like a three way with Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek. This Impreza has 400 Japanese horses and will get to 100kph from a standing start in 3.7 seconds which to be honest is in super car territory. For the 4 door saloon I would pick the C63 AMG Merc, 480 bhp and 0-100kph in 4.6 seconds to represent the axis powers and for the allied forces my candidate would be the Lexus IS-F, 5 litre V8, 417 bhp, and 0-100kph 4.8 seconds. Note that even though Lexus is the luxury marque for Toyota, it is technically an American brand.

The Focus has a pretty nose.

For the super car category, I would pick the Aston Martin DBS V12 Volante for the allies. This British beauty will get to 100kph in just 4.3 seconds and maxes out at 191 miles an hour. For the axis powers, I would choose the Godzilla, the Nissan GT-R, 0-100kph in 3.5 seconds. All this fury is for a reasonable price tag, 70,000 Pounds. The price then makes this Nissan an automotive oxymoron, you cant have cheap and reliable performance in the same sentence. The GT-R is like beer that doesn’t give you liver cirrhosis or like a cheese burger that doesn’t make you fat.

Godzilla dragging it out with the DBS

For the drivers I would pick 7 time Formula 1 world Champion Michael Schumacher to pilot the C63 Merc, Nurburgring expert Sabine Schmidt to pilot the Cosworth STi and Formula 1 driver Kamui Kobayashi to drive the GT-R. For the allies, I would select Group B WRC legend Michelle Mouton to drive the Ford Focus RS500, Former Formula 1 champion Lewis Hamilton to drive the Aston Martin DBS Volante and 7 time WRC champion Sebastian Loeb to drive the Lexus IF-S,
The battlefield then needs to be a place to put these machines and the men and women driving them to test, a stretch of tarmac that has bruised the egos of men who have tried to conquer it. This stretch of tarmac is the Nurburgring. Jackie Stewart called it the Green Hell. Nurburgring separates the boys from the men, the good from the great. This race track is the Mecca for all speed freaks, you must at least once in your life attack the 20.81 kilometres of the best automotive roller coaster on God’s earth. I have tried to take on the 147 corners that make up the Nurburgring on PlayStation and to be honest I couldn’t match the lap times set by real life drivers. The estimates put the fatalities to 12 annually this means each month the Green Hell claims a life.
The format for this race is simple, no grid hence no qualifying, the drivers get just a warm up lap and post two laps, the quickest of the two laps is the one considered. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

Most of us have probably grown up in a household with at least one pet. A dog or cat usually, and if we’re lucky, a bird or other animal. However, in the most case, a lot of households tend to have pets that earn their keep – dogs that are purely for security, and cats that keep the mice population at acceptable levels.

On the other hand, there’s a handful out there, growing in numbers now, that have opted to keep pets for the sole aim of pleasure. No, not in THAT sick way, but for the sole aim of giving an animal a good, if not great life.

What is the difference you might wonder, between pets and domesticated animals?

A cat that lives to catch mice for dinner, but has a welcome spot at the hearth is a domesticated animal. On the other hand, a cat that lives to laze about, get fed daily, and merely catches a mouse because it’s ‘fun’, is a pet. A dog that lives in a kennel during the day, chained to the post, with occasional scraps thrown at it is a domesticated animal. A dog that lives a life of relative luxury, laying at his master’s feet, still loyal, but deserving a spot in the family album, is a pet.

It might seem like a waste of time to most when they see someone taking care of a pet like one would a child. On my part, I have often been advised to get a child. Especially since I’m a thirty-something woman living single. My attachment to pets has been seen as misdirected affection on the lack of children in my life. However, that is not the case. I simply love animals and hate to see one suffer. Those who misjudge this for misdirected affection should cease and desist already.

That aside; the effort one must put in while taking care of a pet is consuming, and it is akin to having a child in your life.

Back in the days when my parents were kids, they didn’t have hybrids and pedigree dogs and cats. They had the good old fashioned village type dog – slender and brown in color, with a long face and a thin tail. The coming of the mzungu saw the influx of different breeds of dogs, and when I grew up, I thought our black German Shepherd was out to kill me, while in fact, he was just trying to play with me, and he was bigger than I was. My parents had favourite goats and sheep and cows, and an occasional chicken. My mom had a rooster that lived more than 10 years – she couldn’t bring herself to slaughter it. That to her was a pet.

Nowadays we have more luxurious, modern pets. The neighborhoods are full of little cute terriers and Chihuahuas, larger German Shepherds and an occasional Great Dane. Cats are many a piece, and most rural households have a dog or cat. The urbane Kenyan, especially the single and childless ones, seems to live a life free of any pet baggage – and that sometimes is constrained by space and time to take care of one.

In the next article, we’ll focus on what to do when you want to get a pet, and if you should get one. Then we’ll tackle what kind of animal is suitable to fit into your life.

For now, be kind to the animal in your life, whether you found it or it found you. Just like a human being, you do not realize the value of a pet, till it’s gone. And as I always say, the pet did not ask to live with you: You went and brought it into your home. Take care of it as it deserves.

Captain America – The First Avenger is actually the last Avenger to be introduced in Marvel’s superhero super-group “The Avengers.” The others being Iron Man, Hulk and Thor and I can confidently say that this film is my favourite of the bunch.

Similar to X-Men: First Class, Captain America is a period superhero film. It is set in 1942 during World War II as the Nazis are doing their rounds in Europe. In response, the American government sets up a secret military operation commanded by Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) charged with creating a breed of super-soldiers tasked to bring down Hitler. The brains behind the operation is Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) a German scientist who has developed a formula which enhances a person’s physical attributes by a great degree.

Enter Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) a scrawny, deemed too small & unhealthy to join the regular army, kid from Brooklyn. He is discovered by Erskine who sees in him qualities beyond the physical and chooses him for the program albeit with some doubts from Phillips. Rogers does get support from British agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) who does a little bit more in the film than just a mandatory love interest.

Meanwhile in Europe, a Nazi group HYDRA led by Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving) and his alter ego Red Skull, have uncovered an ancient mysterious power which they plan on using for world domination. Faced with this new challenge Captain America is called upon, though not at first, to bring down HYDRA and, of course, save the world.

Captain America works very well as a superhero film, despite a formulaic plot, mainly because of its lead. Chris Evans, in the best performance of the film, manages to capture the ethos of his character perfectly . You clearly get from him the reasons he chooses to fight and also that his powers are not a burden like some other superheroes. Thus you are taken into the story and by the end the film has a bigger emotional impact.

The special effects are also impressive especially the pre-buff Evans. The effect is pulled off perfectly and he looks completely convincing as a 40something kg weakling. Red Skull is also impressive, though to me he seemed more menacing before his reveal. One thing I will say is that the 3D is totally pointless and doesn’t add anything to the film except making it darker.

One criticism I have of the film is its shaky third-act. The film has a strong beginning and middle but a weak, though satisfying, ending. During the final act they don’t really explain deeper the villains intents and the situation the hero finds himself in. Had they done this, the finale would have had all the more impact.

Something else that didn’t live up to expectations was the action. Superhero films, I feel, are not like regular action films. They usually have characters with extra ordinary abilities and as such there is always an expectation of extraordinary action. This had been executed well in previous superhero films like X2 and exceptionally in Spiderman 2. The action sequences in Captain America are entertaining but they never really go to that next level of WOW!.

Overall Captain America is an enjoyable satisfying film. It had the obligatory Avengers tie-in but this time it didn’t feel forced and actually got me excited to see Joss Whedon’s film coming out in 2012.

YouTube sensation Ken Block is back with the fourth installment of his famous Gymkhana videos. The previous 3 installments have gotten a staggering 115 million hits on YouTube and in just one day of its release the Gymkhana 4 video has gotten 2.5 million hits and counting.

Block’s new hooning machine is a 2011 HFHV (The Hybrid Function Hoon Vehicle) Ford Fiesta prepared by Monster World Rally Team. Its power plant is a 2 Litre turbo charged engine that coughs up a whooping 600 bhp and delivers 665 lb-ft of torque to all four wheels. Ford claim the Fiesta can chunk up to 800 bhp. The little beast will get from 0-100 kph in 1.9 seconds, and that’s Formula 1 territory. The Fiesta is based on Block’s WRC car but with a 2 Litre motor. This goes to show the cars adaptability in terms of racing disciplines. The feisty Fiesta can transform from a WRC car, to a raging rally cross car, to a tyre shredding gymkhana machine; hence the name Hybrid Function Hoon Vehicle. Commenting on the Fiesta, 43 year Block said, “’The HFHV is awesome. It’s like a modern day Group B rally car and the perfect Gymkhana and Rally Cross car all in one.”

Ken Block goes air borne in his flame thrower

The Gymkhana four Video took five days to shoot and was shot in the back lot of Universal Studios. For this video, Ken Block teamed up with director Ben Conrad known for his work in Zombieland and 30 minutes or less. The production is top-notch. Block’s Fiesta was fitted with GO PRO cameras which bring out stunning camera angles and sequences. The video starts at the set of War of the Worlds, with his close car control skills he pushes his car round the back lot of Universal Studios into a set where Epic Meal Time were filming their cooking show. This video has the most dangerous stunts Block has ever performed including doing doughnuts round a moving forklift. The video ends with a tribute to Slum Dog Millionaire

If you thought the King of Hooning couldn’t top his previous Gymkhana video you were mistaken, Kenny from the block has yet again raised the bar for precision driving. Below is the video, enjoy.

The last time someone other than Sebastian Loeb won the WRC driver’s title, 50 Cent was on top of the billboard charts with ‘In Da Club’ and ‘Finding Nemo’ was one of the biggest movies at the cinemas. Loeb, a former electrician has won 7 straight titles and is now gunning for his 8^th.The French man’s domination of the sport is down to two things, his outright pace and Citroen’s ability to provide him with a competitive car year in year out.

If the Citroen C4 and the Citroen Xsara have given Loeb so much success, then they must be really good cars. They should be everywhere on our roads and boy racers should be crazy about them. Children should have posters of Citroens on their bedroom walls. But sadly though, this isn’t the case. This is because the race cars are ferocious machines and engineering masterpieces, but their road going versions are soft small family cars that soccer mums use to go shopping. Even if Loeb won 20 championships in a Citroen C4, I wouldn’t feel compelled to go out and buy one. This is because the magic in the rally car hasn’t been replicated in their road cars. Back in the day, if Collin McRae won a rally you could go out and buy a WRX; if you were a Tommi Makinnen fan you could go out and buy a Lancer Evolution. These cars made you feel like a racing driver because in essence the platform was the same, a two litre turbo charged car that was all wheel drive.

Right up until 1997, manufacturers were required to make homologation specials. In that if you wanted to rally a car, you would have to make and sell a minimum of 5000 cars of the model you want to rally. The platform and some of the components on the road car would have to be identical to the ones on the rally car. For instance the turbo charger had to be the same size as the one on the road car, the size of the wheels and wheel arches, the rear spoiler and so on and so forth. So the road car not only physically resembled the WRC car but it had a bit of the grant and fury. These homologation specials were basically detuned race cars. This meant that sales of the road car went through the roof if the race car was successful. That’s why we have so many Impreza STis and Lancer Evolutions on our roads today.

However after 1997 FIA changed the rules so manufacturers weren’t required to make homologation specials. This cut costs for manufacturer as they didn’t have to fit expensive parts to 5000 road cars such as Brembo brakes or Recaro bucket seats. So Citroen for example weren’t required to build a 2 litre turbo charged C4 with all-wheel drive. This meant that spending budgets could increase as no homologation specials were required. Spending went overboard and teams just couldn’t afford to operate any more. To put it in perspective an Impreza WRC rally car cost 850,000 Euros to build in 2006, so imagine having to make five or six cars to run the whole season, making truck loads of spare parts for them, paying engineers and so on, rally just became too expensive and teams started pulling out one by one until only 2 teams, Ford and Citroen remained as manufacturers in the WRC.

To rescue the situation in the WRC, FIA introduced new rules for the 2011 season. Cars would have a 1.6 litre direct injection engine, with a four wheel drive system, a sequential gear box but no paddle shifts; this significantly reduced the cost of rallying. A 2011 WRC rally car costs 200,000 Euros to build. These regulations are supposed to mirror the global trends in consumption and emissions. Citroen fielded the DS3 and Ford fielded the Fiesta. Apart from cost, these new regulations are meant to attract new teams and this is working quite well, MINI has fielded the Countryman to take part in select rounds of the WRC this season. This is the first time MINI made a car for the WRC since 1967. Apart from MINI, VW are entering the WRC in 2013 and Toyota is rumored to be working on either the Yaris/Vitz or the Auris to field in the WRC. Apart from new regulations, the WRC also has a power stage to boost viewership which has dropped significantly over the years. The power stage is a special stage that is televised live and the winner of the power stage gets an extra 3 points added to his championship points.

Some of the lost magic of the WRC is slowly coming back, the Citroen DS3 recently celebrated its 100,000^th order and the Ford Fiesta was made ever so popular by action sports star Ken Block in his Gymkhana 3 video. So the future of the WRC looks bright. More teams are coming in, the fan base is increasing and most importantly the magic that the race cars have is slowly being replicated in the road cars.

JJ Abrams takes us on a nostalgic trip with his tribute to Steven Spielberg classics such as Close Encounters and ET. Super 8, produced by Spielberg himself, is written and directed by Abrams and tells the story of a group of kids who witness a strange train accident while filming a DIY zombie film for a local film festival.

The film is set in 1979 and stars Joel Courtney as Joe, the special effects guru of the group and the main protagonist of the film. He is joined by Riley Griffiths who plays Charles the director and a brilliant Elle Fanning (Dakota who?) as Alice, reluctant cast member and love interest. They are joined by Kyle Chandler & Ron Eldard who play the fathers to Joe and Alice respectively.

The main premise of this film as depicted by the trailer was that during the train crash the kids accidentally film something on their super 8 camera. This, however, ends up being just a minor plot point.

After the events of the crash, strange things start to happen in the small town of Lillian where the kids live. Residents are attacked by “something” and begin to disappear as do dogs. Electronics in the town also go missing and since the film is set in the 80s, the soviets are mentioned. Whatever was on the train was sinister and of course by this time the military have show up and are up to no good.

Meanwhile, another plot point is unfolding regarding Joe and his estrangement from his father. Joe’s mother’s death, her funeral opens the film, has created a distance between the two and they clash often. We are also led to believe that Alice’s father was somehow involved in her death. This creates tension between the two fathers which trickles down to the children.

I found the script for Super 8 rather plain, weak & incomplete. Events happen that seem important or are portrayed as important but end up being inconsequential. The various elements that make up the plot; father-child relationship and the creature attack, do not fit well together and at the end you get the feeling that the film would have worked better without the former.

The film also has a surprisingly flat visual style. You would expect a film with Spielberg’s hand to be quite visually stunning seeing as Spielberg is a master at this. The action sequences are good and entertaining but a bit too by-the-book. There are no scenes or shots that are remarkable or capture your attention for longer than the duration of the film. The creature design also feels dated, you’ve seen it before and Abrams sticks to what he knows {insert Cloverfield reference}

Abrams, in his endeavour to create a homage to the films he clearly loved in his childhood, has made a moderately entertaining but ultimately forgettable film.

Tip & possible Spoiler: If you watch this film stick around for the credits where they show the short zombie film that the kids were shooting. I found it quite charming and actually enjoyed it more than the film.

Nairobi’s Finest band Edition 2 will feature performances from 6 different entities which are: Afrology, Lele, Jemedari, Kevin Man Njoro, Checkmate & Dela.

Date: 26th August

Venue: Crooked Q’s Rooftop

Time: From 7pm

Charges: Kshs. 500 in advance & Kshs. 700 at the gate. [Advance tickets are available at Dass, Crooked Q, Dreams or call this number 0733-47 41 97]

If there is anything this past week has taught us, it’s that Kenyans love their country. We will come together when there is an emergency and stand with our brothers and sisters. 24 hours for Kenya, Post PEV initiatives, The 1998 bombing are all testament as to who we are as a people at the core. However the truth is this. We cannot wait till emergencies. We must take the future of our country and our people into our own hands. We must live, breathe and be the difference that leads Kenya to what it can be.

We all know people who are doing this already. People who have decided to do what it takes to solve a problem. We may not be able to do the same but we can all in some way or another support and recognize them for what they are doing. This is where the folks at Spread The Love come in.

Spread The Love’s goal is to get Kenyans to realize the power they hold in changing Kenya. Last Year they refurbished and painted police stations and schools.

Spread the Love Goes Behind Bars

This year the plan is to visit three Prisons and impact lives & meet the men & women behind bars, interact with the wardens and plug into the system. There will be other activities like painting, planting trees, building,cleaning cutting grass and much more. Be there at 8.30am on the dates & at the prisons below dressed for the part!!

13th August- Langata Women’s Prison
20th August- Langata Women’s Prison
27th August- Industrial Area Remand Prison

Nominate An Extra-ordinary kenyan

More than that, this year there will be a Spread The Love Gala Night where our community’s positive change-makers will be recognized & appreciated . Do You know someone who deserves to be on the list? Nominate them here . A Panel made up of extraodinary individuals including Gina Din, Jeff Koinange, Murithii Wanjau and Peter Nduati among others will decide the Spread The Love recepients.

I watched a live performance of this, beautiful stuff. Enjoy.

Hapa Kenya

Here in Urban Kenya

Monthly Archives: August 2011

Motor World: World War III

Let’s Talk Pets!

Captain America: The First Avenger – Film Review

Block buster: Gymkhana King is back

Motor World: Recapturing WRC’s lost magic

Super 8 – Review

Music: Nairobi’s Finest 2~Band Edition, August 26th @ Crooked Q’s Rooftop

Spread The Love Festival – 2011

Video | Ngwatilo – July

Spoken Word: Slam Africa, 19th August @ Dass Restaurant