Kenyans on Twitter (KOT) are an interesting bunch. From politically charged but humorous tweets criticizing the government, to ex lovers airing out their dirty laundry online, there is always something to keep you entertained.
Yesterday was no exception, thanks to @EvangelineChao (Dr. Chao Mbogho) who took to Twitter to share her idea of what countries could be if they were computer software. The opening line to her thread was ‘If countries were computer software’.
Chao’s thread was reminiscent of the viral hashtag, #IfAfricaWasABar by Siyanda Mohutsiwa which satirised the sensitive geopolitics, cultural nuances and stereotypes in African countries.
Here are the tweets.
If countries were computer software.
A thread.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Kenya.
Loads in micro seconds. Comes with 37 folders to install. Some may be corrupt but you have to open all to find out which one.— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Tanzania.
Recently received an upgrade and now runs 50% faster. You need an encryption key to install. Pirating it lands people in jail.— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Uganda.
Has had the same version for 30 years. Its loyal users have been reported to still punch holes on cards in order to process info.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Rwanda.
Most shops showcase it as a 'model secure package'. That's because the programmer has refused to open-source the source code.— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Ethiopia.
People buy it because it creates beautiful pictures.
That's it.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Ghana.
Currently being given out as a free software to 'enhance computer performance'.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Nigeria.
Everyone tells everyone installing it will crash your computer.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
South Africa.
Advertised as the best software in the market. But only 50% of its packages actually work properly.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Lesotho & Swaziland.
You have to install and unzip South Africa to get them. Swaziland often automatically fails to download.— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Zimbabwe.
You can only buy it in dollars. Installation takes 16 hours because each package needs approval by a remotely-based admin.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Britain.
Contains patches for most other software. Only available on request. Limited stock.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Germany.
You need a 128-character key to unlock installation folder. Then you only have 6 days to use it. 100% performance.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
France.
Most pirated software.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
USA.
Recently uninstalled by 60% of its users.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Canada.
Out of stock.
Buyers have to wait for 2 years for manufacturers to produce the next batch.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Zanzibar.
Everyone goes to the shop to see it. Few buy the full product. Contains the highest number of users on 'Trial version'.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
UAE.
People buy it only for that one package called Dubai that has been installed so many times, manufactures couldn't keep up.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017
Russia.
A recent update made it mostly compatible with a computer that has installed USA. May crash otherwise.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
Qatar.
Hackers have just taken over full control. Displays a 404 error when you run it. A fix has not yet been found.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
Qatar.
Hackers have just taken over full control. Displays a 404 error when you run it. A fix has not yet been found.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
China.
Bulky. You have to restart your computer 10 times to install it. Some packages don't do what it says on the license agreement.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
China.
Bulky. You have to restart your computer 10 times to install it. Some packages don't do what it says on the license agreement.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
North Korea.
No one buys it.
Self destructs.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
Finally, Jamaica.
Packaged in pretty colors.
Plays songs in the background as you use it.
Records the most loyal user-base.
— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 6, 2017
The end.
Thanks for following. ??— Dr. Chao (@evangelinechao) June 5, 2017